girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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