Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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