stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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