I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
