you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Are we still banned from the library?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
