i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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