Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
