No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
