i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
