ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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