i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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