thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
