the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
