Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
