Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
