Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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