So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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