remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
