Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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