why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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