Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
