I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
