Small penises have feelings too.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
