508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
try to milk me bitch
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