help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
