Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
