I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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