I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
