How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
