Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
