i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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