Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
