so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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