so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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