She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
