Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
