so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
