Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
