And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
