I'm jealous of your bromance
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
