Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize