so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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