I CAN MOONWALK!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
