Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
