Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
