took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
