I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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