My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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