she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
