The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
