Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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